Summit Wellness: Replacing Expectations with Hope

By Summit FM Contrinbutor Dr. Tom Olbrych

Our sense of self is often driven by expectations: expectations placed on us by parents, teachers, employers, society, professional and personal partners, and ourselves. Additionally, our perception of the world may be tainted by these expectations.

Life is grand, as long as these expectations are met to our satisfaction, but resentments grow from unmet expectations. Resentments may then lead to disillusionment with our job, our relationships with colleagues and coworkers, and with our neighbors, friends and family. 

Life potentially devolves into a drudgery, expectations unsatisfied, perceived wants and needs unfulfilled. 

By replacing expectation with hope it is possible to reduce, or even eliminate, the resentments that arise from dashed expectations: “I hope I win the lottery,” “I hope the weather is good tomorrow,” “I hope I play well on the upcoming golf trip,” “I hope my children are happy,” “I hope my spouse loves me as much as I love her.” 

If I expect these things, I set myself up for disappointment if such expectations are unrealized. If I hope for them, they may not materialize, but if they do come to pass: double bonus! Remember the quote from Andy Dufresne in The Shawshank Redemption: "Hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies."